November 5, 2010
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My Home-Brewed Beard
Why did you grow a beard? She asked me
Only a child is ever so forward
and a child will ask the questions we never expect
Like, why did I grow a beard?I think it looks good, is my answer today
She ponders this with a frown
Beard queries mean as much as questions about God
And you can touch a beardI don't like it, you look better without it
she says with youthful surety
Well, that is that, she switches subjects like channels
Before I am quite readyWhy do I wear a beard? I have a weak chin
Is my frequent answer to this
I'm too lazy to shave, I respond on Tuesdays
Sundays, razors damage the dermisThe seventies were the easiest time in the world
To spare one's cheeks from the blade
My heroes were hairy, girl-laden, and wealthy
And most times, after shaving, I bledTwenty-plus bearding equals thirty and dashing
General Custer without the Indians
moody horsebacked envy of colonels and majors
By forty the bare spots had filled inThe silver in my beard of fifty opens doors for me
Ageist chivalry in all its glory
Instead of tickets, I get a chuckle and a warning
The whiskers, it's gotta beI must be hiding something, my beard is a mask
or so the pundits declaim
who in daily rite razor part of their manhood away
What are they hiding from?The mirror sees well each wart and wrinkle
through my barrier of hair
I cannot answer a question asked wrong
My beard grows with me.---------------------------------------------------
Comments (14)
i grew my goatee so that i could hide my chins, i enjoyed this post
I had a beard for 20 years or so. I lost ten years of age in my appearance when I shaved it off. Used an electric shaver until it died, and now I use one of those multibladed devices in the shower, which works pretty well.
The first time I shaved my beard off, my oldest daughter was 2 1/2. She looked at me and said, "Papa, you have a chin!" When I explained that I had shaved off my beard, she said, "Sew it back on!"
@Roadkill_Spatula - That is too funny!
@johnbean333 - I like a goatee, but the next style I will try will be the "rent is too damn high!" guy's style.
@MelFamy - awesome, his beard/goatee is incredible, not sure i can grow that
Great poem...and for what it's worth, I very much like your beard.
I just started growing a goatee but it came in gray and I still have no hair in a spot of scar tissue
I really liked the way you looked the one time I remember you completely shaving the beard, but I think you look awesome with it, too.
I like this very much. I have a beard....my stock answer is I don't like to shave.
@C_L_O_G - I was fascinated by the Quattro the last time I shaved. Now, they have some razor with 5 blades and a gel applicator! Almost makes me want to shave, just to try it out.
Hahaha... ode to a beard ..
@MelFamy - lol...have fun playing with the shaving toys if you go that route.
@C_L_O_G - I grow a mean soul patch
I've been a goatee guy for many years. When I leave my job the last time I'll go back to the full beard which I had before I went to work there. The goatee just looks more professor like. rofl Never hurts to look the part. hahahaha
@carolinamuscle - Not just any beard, muscleman. Actually, I should list my favorite beards sometime.
ZZ Top and Richard Branson were the first to come to mind...
Comments are closed.