November 17, 2010

• IMPRECISE RECIPES, part 1

  A recipe is a guide, not a stone tablet handed down from on high. But I do have some commandments sprinkled in the following lists of suggestions. Obey them, or you Will  be sorry....

  Award-Winning, Stand-Up-And-Cheer-The-Cook Spaghetti and Meatballs

  Ingredients:(If more than 4 are having this, double everything, and cook on the stove, unless you have a really huge crock pot)

  a) The Meatballs

  Any combination of ground sirloin, Jimmy Dean sausage(the brand is not the most important aspect, but some sausage must be in there), and ground pork and/or turkey that adds up to 2lbs. Set aside 1/2 pound for the sauce.

  bread crumbs (crushed crackers may be substituted, as can crushed croutons, oatmeal, or couscous, hell, try corn flakes! The point is to be creative and resourceful.)

  an egg or two, (egg-beaters for you finicky heart patients)

  lots of garlic powder

  lots of onion powder, but less than the amount of garlic powder

  oregano and basil, and/or italian seasoning, enough for a handful

  pepper, white black, red, or all three

  Mix everything together in a bowl. Here is where it gets tricky. Do not mash the stuff between your fingers, as that destroys the texture. Instead, pull apart the meat, stir it with your fingers, getting the egg all mixed into the meat and crumbs. Then pat the mixture into round balls of meat, throwing the ball from one hand into the palm of the other repeatedly. Do not leave this step out: It tamps the ingredients together, and makes a really neat slapping sound if you're doing it right.

  Place the meatballs in a greased pan and cook at 350- 400° while you make the sauce.

  b) The Sauce

  the same ingredient as in the meatballs, sans the meat and eggs, and whatever crumb/crumb substitute you employed, but add:

  three cans diced tomatoes

  the meat I Told you to set aside, You can also add any shredded roast beast you have in the fridge.

  one can tomato paste

  a ton of sliced garlic(I mean it!; {note: can be prepared in advance})*

  one onion, or use that half an onion that is in the fridge

  celery, if you got it, and it isn't too limp

  colored bell pepper, 1 or 2

  2 bay leaves

  basil and oregano and thyme

  more pepper, don't overdo it

  olive oil

  Pour the olive oil in the saucepan, turn the burner on medium. Add a toe's worth of the sliced garlic to the hot oil, and cook it until it is a golden brown, then remove and discard the garlic, retaining the now sublimely-flavored oil(Do not leave this step out, or my Mother's ghost will haunt you, forever).  Add the tomato paste to the still-hot oil, and cook it until it starts turning darker, add the veggies, they should be sliced by now, then cook it some more before adding the diced tomatoes and a can of water. Now here is where I transfer the concoction to a crock pot, adding water to make it runnier than it will be when finished. Add the meatballs, and cook on high for hours, I recommend at least ten, stirring very occasionally. Overnight is best, but in that case you put the heat on low before retiring. Add water as necessary. An hour or two before serving, add some more of the herbs, a spoonful or so, and put heat on high, if it isn't already. Serve over your favorite pasta as you repeat my name reverently.

  Killer Meatloaf

  Use the recipe for meatballs in the above recipe

  Now cook a real big meatball.

   

  Next week: Hamburgers and chili-mac. Seeya then!

  * or to taste, but use a lot, its good for you.

  • 9:33 am
  • 6 Comments