October 15, 2011
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Uncorrect Humor, source unknown
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe
that…. 2:30am?! Lucky for him I was still up playing my drums.
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I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept
thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an
erection...but she did.
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Did you hear about the fat alcoholic transvestite? All he wanted to do was
eat, drink and be Mary.
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Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do
you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!
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I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the
biggest willy she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg"
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I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she
was poor - she only had $5 in her purse.
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My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.
What's the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman? One's a superhero and
the other is an instruction.
================An old lady is being examined by the Doctor. He asks “Have you ever been
bedridden?”
She says, “Yes I have, and I've been table ended and backskuttled a few
times too!”
================Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine
until he stuck his index finger up my bum! Do you think I should change
dentists?
================A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back.
He says “What do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.”
=================Doctors have just identified a food that can cause grief and suffering years
after it's been eaten. It's called a wedding cake.
=================I was in the pub with my wife last night and I said “I love you.”
She said, “Is that you or the beer talking?”
I replied, “It's me talking to the beer.”
==================The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.
So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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Comments (9)
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!
Oh my, this is so 'you'. The kind of humor I'd expect. Each one is like an outline drawing which only takes form if one adds the missing guts. And then you laugh till yer gut aches, as I did.
(There's actually a lot of this hints/ fill in the blanks style in your stories. Gives the reader a wonderful feeling of being quietly in on something.
Favorite: the very last one. It's almost a connect-the-dots
@jsolberg - I like the one about the stalker's girlfriend, but they all made me laugh.
I've recommended What more do you want? Geez
loved it
Funny. when are you gonna chat again? Honestly I had to make a delivery . ya work is work but hit me up ya friiggin infidel.
@tendollar4ways - I think you mean Fellow infidel. But yeah, i seeya, I'll chat you up.
The first one is a gem! Love it.
lol..this is too funny!! Loved it
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