October 25, 2011

• THANKS A BUNCH, MATT!

  The @godfatherofgreenbay tagged me as part of a xanga chain-letter type thingie, wherein the taggees relate 7 interesting things about themselves, and tag 7 others to do the same. Well, I was tagged, that makes me It, I gotta do it. Go on dawgs, I'll get witcha later:

  1) I will take this opportunity to tell you all that I am one of the Lesser-Known Poets of the early 21st Century, an achievement that would not have been possible in the late 20th century because I wasn't writing poetry then, and it wasn't the 21st century yet, Duh!

  2)There is a vein on my heart that gets squeezed shut every time my heart beats. It doesn't need to be open at that time, so it does not affect me. Should it ever stay shut, about 30% of the blood flow to my pump would be cut off, and I would feel some pain and dizziness. so they say. Then we would have to cut daddy's chest open. This is officially an interesting thing about me, because my doctor sent a dvd of the phenomenon to the Mayo clinic and Emory University. Last time I checked, you could get a copy at Wal-Mart, look in the $1.98 bin.

  3)I can mimic five different regional cajun dialects; Dulac, Venice, Opelousas, the West Bank, and Gentilly, but they only sound different to me.

  4)I own a gun that was used to shoot a guy. That's all I'm sayin'

  5)My cousin by marriage was implicated in the murder of Professor Backwards. Supposedly, his last words were "Pleh! Pleh!"

  7)I have trouble keeping things in numerical order, a relic of my anarchic activity in my teens.

  8)I am throwing in an extra fact, because this just seemed to end too soon: I have NEVER, ever been in a fight. it isn't cowardice; I have jumped into the middle of a fight between crew members to break it up, and I have stared down a couple of deckhands who got in my face over orders I had given them. But I am a fast talker, a faster runner(maybe some cowardice, but he was mean for a little guy), and I weigh 215 lbs and stand 6'4", so I can loom when looming is called for. Plus, I don't give a rat's ass if FSU sucks or not, if you look at my girl, or that you think all libs are faggots, so that eliminates most opportunities for physical confrontation.

  Re: #5- All right, all right! My Dad sold a canoe to a guy in Key West back in the late seventies, and Max shorted Dad $20 bucks. Max bought a bottle with the twenty, and drank it with Dad after the sale, so why it mattered so much is a bit of a mystery, chalk it up to the wonders of alcohol, I guess. Dad said that twenty mattered more with each sip of whisky, and he got vocal about it. Max threatened to kick his ass, and he was a big guy, and a bully, there was some weight to the threat. So Dad got his .22 rifle, and ordered Max out of his house. Naturally, when faced with a drunk holding a gun on him, Max charged Dad, who shot him in the shoulder. They were crying and telling each other they were sorry when the cops came in response to Mrs. Max' call. Dad spent the night in jail, but Max refused to press charges. He did, however, file a lawsuit, which Dad lost, and I ended up with no inheritance other than a set of bongos, a giant wooden spoon and fork, the aforementioned .22, and a slide rule.

  Here is my list of victims:

  @jsolberg
  @roscoes_farm
  @gvnuphope
  @joiwinds
  @gnostic1
  @chromepoet
  @doahsdeer

  • 4:31 am
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