November 15, 2011
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Presently Occupied
http://townhall.com/tipsheet/guybenson/2011/11/08/gross_hair_and_body_lice_outbreak_at_occupy_portland
Transcript portion from the nightly news at WEAK-TV
....And well have More of the latest Herman Cain news at eleven.
Now, we turn to the unfolding story on Wall St., where the occupiers have still not issued their demands, but their numbers grow every day. For the story, we go to Clu Lesley, Clu, has there been any change in the situation since 5:15?
Clu: Uh, No, Morava, there has not. But tempers are rising, as the occupiers' numbers grow ever larger. The crowd on the streets of....on Wall Street is becoming restive, demanding action. I have here one Ted "Bozoman" Bozeman. Ted, can you you tell us what the demands might be, and when we might hear something?
Ted: {scratching self} Dude! You're the news guy, you tell me. They just keep itching and crawling and they won't stop, man! I need to blaze a bud, dude, outta here.
Clu: Head and Body Lice. They are making their presence known on Wall st. home of many banks whose questionable practices led to the spontaneous demonstrations by students from all over the country. Head Lice. Body Lice. Reviled by many, understood by few. They live on the bodies of warm-blooded animals, feeding on the bood of their hosts, and laying their eggs on the hair follicles of the host. When the eggs hatch the cycle is complete.
Clu:But, What do they Really want? Why are they occupying the heads and, of course, the bodies of these innocent youngsters? And what to make of the allegations by fringe elements that the people so infested brought it themselves, through the practice known as 'poor hygiene'? And night falls, Again without bringing any new answers, the lice feed and lay their eggs, the kids scratch and curse. And so the mystery remains.......unhh, a mystery! Now back to you, Morova.
Thank you, Clu, doing a great job out there. That wraps up the six o'clock hour, I'm Morova Lissner, reminding you to stay tuned for "So You Think You've Been Sexually Harassed By Herman Cain."
Comments (11)
oh no, the dreaded lice.
Runaway! Flea the flee! Flea the flee!
something like that.
every single time I hear or read the word "lice" I scratch my head
I tried to start an Occupy movement but it didn't take off and I was the only one who showed up.
@godfatherofgreenbay - Shoulda stuck with it, kid. You would have been interviewed for sure.
well it was Occupy the Godfather's Bedroom and it was only open to the female persuasion
your sense of simile is sidesplitting
pw
@godfatherofgreenbay - you're getting dangerously close to being as funny as mel! Definately had me loling!
@MelFamy - you have me scratching, too....stop it!
Tough to get a revolution on when 24/7 food calls from every intersection and the coliseum shows never stop. Panem et Circenses truly dilute the attraction of lice, not to mention that it might be interesting to consider whether head lice and body lice are separate species or about to become separate species and how does that affect the Theory part of evolution?
Success on two fronts: One, verisimilitude: the style and scripting here is dead-on
And two, the ironic point that an army which 'marches on their stomachs' in search of social perestroika needs to google 'food-poisoning' , and watch for daily updates, is clearly obvious .
More seriously, although hampered by distance and inevitably second-hand sources, I'm intensely curious about this revolution-de-jure. My competence in the 60s rapidly became the ability to separate wheat from un-washed chaff; the cognoscenti from Time magazine camp-followers. Not especially proud of that supposed necessity. Any successful Movement is a mix of founding-fathers, tru-believers, and useful idiots.
Oh well, another lousy revolution; news at 11
The lice never had it so good.
Comments are closed.