CHARM SCHOOL
I'm havin' trouble passin' charm school
I can't keep from tellin' a fool he's a fool
My social graces ain't great,
I'm more or less late for almost every date
I think my switchblade makes a great dining tool
My honey moved out, leaving only a letter
said she'd come back when my manners got better
What could I say besides Hasta la Veesta
And can you maybe hook me up with your sister?
Said she was tired of doin' all my fetchin'
of beer after beer that sets me to belchin'
I said 'C'mon honey, at least I work steady
I'm feelin' romantic, so go get the bed ready.
I'm rough around the edges that's for sure
my manners ain't pretty, my speech isn't pure
when I drink tea, all my fingers touch the cup
I don't say "charmed", I say gurl, wassup?
They say that there's a girl for every single guy
And you can find your soulmate if you will only try.
Be sure to tell the gal that fits me like a skin
that she's sure to like me for what she sees within
But my without is a pigsty, I'm as sloppy as sin
I never cover my mouth when I cough or sneeze
My best pair of pants have holes in the knees
I call 'em like I see 'em as a majority rule
Because I never quite finished up in finishin' school.
Comments (13)
I love this,very clever!
What could I say besides Hasta la Veesta
And can you maybe hook me up with your sister?
made me laugh out loud....perfect line for this poem.
My without is a pigsty
Nice.
@seedsower - @doahsdeer - Bless you both, I like finding out out what, specifically, makes somebody laugh.
I'm wondering if someone in particular inspired this poem? It's very funny, but does not describe you in any way.
I now see that you attended Charm School at Haney. It all fits....You try to cover it up, and then you have Joi try to say it was someone else. Sorry, but we're all on to your ruse, pal Joey. When you're sittin across from Joi, I just hope to hell you have learned where to place your napkin. We all know what happened last time .....
@Kellsbella - @joiwinds - Youse goils is inciteful. A good ol' generic Panhandle redneck is what I had in mind here. Now, didn't I say it loud enough? I need a beer.
@MelFamy - Don't forget to pour it in a glass and lift your pinky as you drink. It just adds that wee bit of feminism that turns the girls on. I think I shall have to have my Loverboy give you some tips. Then again, he made a C- in the class. (kept doing odd things with his tongue that distracted the teacher) Still.... he could have some worthwhile tips.....
See here, the thing is, I'm kinda obsessive on reading poetry as potential song-lyrics. Which of course implies natural, repeating meter.
Which lots of the lines here could have with minor changes. Which I feel like proving as soon as the 50 knot gale here dies down.
I can't even hear the potential tune in my head for the roar of the wind through the tin of my quonset hut.
Come to think of it, mebbe meter was what agin-da-wind was bitching about a couple posts ago. Course he might just as easily have been making an unfavorable comparison to, like, Ezra Avoirdupois.
@jsolberg - play with the meter all you want Take A. Voirdupus' measure if you must, but don't make Troy wait.
It is meant to be a country song, but I make the meter work by either drawing out a syllable here, or sing faster over there. Do play with it, I want to see what you come up with.
@MelFamy - 'Ahh'll be baack'. Mebbe not 'right back, but back. tell Troy t' fix us some carrots meanwhile.
You may have flunked charm school but you sure know how to write a poem.
this is a hoot. i can't stop smirking.
This is fun. I'm still grinning.
Comments are closed.