May 18, 2012
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Gags From the Land of Kilts and Haggis
My buddfy Utah, over at The Rio Norte Line, just posted some jokes that must be shared.......
Just booked a table for Valentine’s Day for me and the wife. Bound to end in tears though – she’s crap at snooker.
Met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet and we ended up having sex there and then. God, I love my new Taser!
Got a new Jack Russell pup today, he’s mainly black and brown with just a small white area so I’ve called him Detroit.
If you get an email telling you that you can catch Swine Flu from tins of ham then delete it. It’s Spam.
They say that sex is the best form of exercise. Now correct me if I’m wrong but I don’t think 2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.
I’ve just watched a documentary about children being beaten and abused in Indian sweatshops. Looking at the quality of stitching on my new trainers the little bastards deserved it!
When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put a cherry on my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau.
The local deli ran out of milk again due to the freezing weather, fortunately, my elderly neighbour Doreen has plenty stacked up on her doorstep.
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News flashes:
1. Now on sale at IKEA – beds for lesbians: no nuts or screwing involved, it’s all tongue and groove.
2. A Muslim has been shot with a starting pistol; police say it’s definitely race related
Comments (5)
These vary between brilliant and groanworthy.
oh such groaners
I liked 'em all. Some I'll take and pretend they're mine. Why not? The English have been doing that to the Scots since Longshanks.
2 minutes and 15 seconds every 3 months is going to shift this beer belly.....haaaaaa, that made me laugh loudly.
@seedsower - My favorite is the one about the milk on the old lady's porch.
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