Does anybody here know what happened to Martin?
Who steered young Bieber wrong?
The last I heard he was high up in an airplane
Puking into his bong
Has evr'rybody heard about Toronto?
And Mayor Ford 's seeming lack of shame
He says he only gorged on beer, booze, and vino
To wash down his pills and cocaine
Has anybody heard much from Lindsey Lohan?
her star power is on the fade
That's a given , she's been in more prisons
Than flicks that she ever made.
Has anybody here spotted Miley lately?
which pole is she writhing upon?
I saw her last week, riding nude on a Harley
through the local Bed Bath, & Beyond
Has anybody here made a legal boo-boo
Yet avoided both judge and court?
Unless you're famous, it won't happen for you
Because you're not Bieber, Lohan, or Ford