August 5, 2007

  • I got this in my inbox the other day.......

     

    2008 Democrat National Convention Agenda - Denver, Colorado (Just
    Released)

    7:00 pm Opening flag burning

    7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. in Spanish

    7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    7:25 pm Non-religious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpt on

    7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging

    7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore

    8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding

    8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry

    9.00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

    11.00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant and Barbara Streisand

    11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn

    11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton

    11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean & Rosie O'Donnell

    12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

    12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

    12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi

    12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of "The Great Satan", 'W' Bush”

    12:50 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters

    1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party.

    1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton

    1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast

    1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home (Chappa whatta?) 

     

    Pretty stupid, right? Right?

    OK, for one thing Ted Kennedy quit drinking years ago,  and he was cleared of any wrongdoing in the Chappaquiddick affair. Got off light due to his family name? Might wanna watch where you sling that slop bucket, might hit a draft-dodging or whore-mongering, scandal-ridden Bush brother, right, Neil? George? What did Sean Penn have to do with the Taliban? Nada! This is a typical right-wing attempt at humor, and it does push all the right Pavlovian buttons: Sean Penn, Pelosi, Hilary, Rosie, Barbra, wait! You left out Teresa Kerry!

     Well, anyway, my point is that right-wing humor is infantile, mean, it relies on repetition of buzzwords, and  is as subtle as a pie in the face.

     

    In other words, amateur hour is over.....
     

    Welcome to the  2008 Republican Convention:
     
    Ladies, Gentlemen, and all three of you negroes. Tony Snow here, to

    welcome you to our last stand (laughter, applause). In your courtesy
    bags are your complimentary talking points, including stupid lies
    about Al Gore,  Michael Moore is fat, Clinton-did-it-so-can-we,

    Hilary-as-a-witch jokes(HA-HA, always cracks me up!),
    and Ted Kennedy's drinking. You will also find your Constitution
    toilet paper(Cheney's favorite), made from virgin redwoods; use it
    "liberally"(Ha ha, stop me!), an American flag, big enough to wrap
    yourself in, and copies of all the treaties we have made with other
    nations. Reports that many are broken have come to my attention.
    Sorry, they would not fit into our agenda otherwise. 

    A moment of silence, in memory of the three delegates from Rhode
    Island, who died in that awful bridge collapse yesterday.  Oh, and the
    other 30 or 40 , or whatever, casualties, too. Yeah, yeah, and the families ,too.
    We are determined to fix all the bridges, potholes, nuclear reactor cracks,
    lax oversight of our nation's food supply, mine safety, mime
    safety(can't help myself), restore the wetlands, reduce dependence on
    foreign oil, raise teacher's salaries, catch Osama Bin Laden; punish
    Saudi Arabia for arming sunnis in Iraq, instead of blaming Iran for
    all of it; Target some REAL bastards, like the Janjaweed in Sudan, and
    guarantee free and affordable medical care for all americans, as soon
    as any of these become part of our platform(gales of laughter from the
    audience). Had you going there for a minute, didn't I?
    On a serious note, remember, you have to go home and convince your
    neighbors and those working class folks outside the gates that we must
    stay in Iraq. Just keep repeating the BS from the last 6 years.
    Remember why we do this, to bankrupt America, so that there will be no
    money for the government to do anything to enforce environmental laws,
    improve medical care, or sponsor any form of (Gasp!) mass
    transportation.
     
    Scooter Libby will be speaking to you next, about his harrowing
    experience of having to pay a 1/4 million dollar fine. By the way, folks, your
    contributions to the PAY SCOOTER's FINE Society were much appreciated.
    The excess will go to pay for ads accusing the Clinton's of being
    crooks.
     
    Enclosed as well is our agenda for tomorrow. Note that the prayer will
    be led by Pat Robertson, who will keep any hurricanes from hitting us.
     
     7:00 a.m.- Prayer--subj. "damn those unamerican defeatocrats"
     
     7:30 a.m.- breakfast-- turtle eggs, key deer sausage, wheat bread from
                   Monsanto seed, and green tea from our friends in Burma. 
     
     8:30 a.m.-seminar-The Deficit,  good for the Rich---yes, the timing  does conflict with the "Keeping your sons and daughters out of the glorious war" Symposium, but we all know that one by heart anyway.

     9:30 a.m.-seminar-So What if "Enhanced Interrogation Techniques" was a
         phrase borrowed from the Nazis? *  Hitler Had Some Good Ideas, too**
     
     10:00 a.m.-break up into legislation enactment teams. The lobbyists in
          charge of each group will tell you what to do.

     12.00 p.m.- lunch--Indian mangoes(traded for nuclear secrets),
          Arabian dates(traded for no enforcement of mpg. standards), Freedom
          wine, freedom fries, Freedom toast,  and pork, lots and lots of pork.
     
     1:00 p.m.-secret, trust us

     2:00 p.m.-secret, don't worry

     3:00 p.m.-seminar "Freedom is Slavery"

     4:00 p.m.-seminar "War is Peace"

     5:00 p.m.-seminar "Ignorance is Strength", led by our honored guest
               President George W Bush
         
     Ending Prayer, by rev. James Dobson---Prayer for all white, straight,
     churchgoing, republican, pro-war, anti- Family Leave Act, anti
     minimum-wage increase, Fox-news-watching(and ONLY Fox
     News), loyal-to-the-president-instead-of-the-country families. Keep
     having those sextuplets. We gotta out-breed the Mexicans.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
     
    ** Like Super-Patriotism, attacking countries unprovoked,
        blind, unquestioning loyalty to an autocratic leader, etc.

     

Comments (5)

  • Let's see if I got this right......

    You posted some 'right-wing' humor, as it were, and told us how low-down it was to exxagerate certain points and tendencies of certain left-wing personalities. How low brow of the right!

    But then, you proceed to do the exact same thing from a left-wing point of view.... sans the same condemnation.

    Do you see where partisanship breeds and lives, Greg?

    Now, in all honesty...... how can you expect anyone to take your indignation about the slurs perpetrated by the right seriously, if you engage in the same type of slurs, and leave out what SHOULD be equal indignation?

    Come on, greg..... lighten up.

  • Dido, you always seem to miss the point of my posts. I was doing exactly what the right does on purpose. The right-wing has pilloried France, the Clinton's, Ted Kennedy, Streisand, et.al., for so long that just the mention of their names in connection with some other shibboleth (witch, drink, Iraq, Flag-burning, Lesbian, etc.) causes laughter in the same manner that a laugh track does on a bad sit-com. And I can back my allusions up with facts, unlike the crap the right puts out. No, right-wingers don't actually eat turtle eggs, but neither do most of them care if turtles, or any other  of GOD's creatures become extinct or not.

    Doesn't the fact that our country is looking to the nazis for torture ideas bother you in the least? It is a fact that they are. Talk about stooping to a low level, why doesn't that bother you? Why do you always rush to the defense of these poor republicans? No matter what the subject is, that sick child-molesting republican congressman, or investigations into  wasted and stolen money in Iraq, your first reaction is that the dems are going to politicize it. No, Dido they are going to expose it, and hold people accountable,  just like they kicked Jefferson(D-La.) off  his committees for being a crook, while the  republicans were defending him. One day you will realize just how bad these thugs are, my friend.

  • Greg, If I may..... you, too, miss the points that I make. First off, what you characterize as "rushing to the defense of the Republicans" is, in fact, saying what needs to be said- that BOTH parties wring their hands about the lack of bipartisanship, while engaging in the worst kinds of partisanship. Why can you not see that?

    The reason that I see Dems politicizing everything is because they DO. You cannot see that from your point of view, because you are in such lockstep with everything that is anti-republican, you see only what you like, and you ignore the rest. You should take a Libertarian pill sometime, and you will see that there is PLENTY of demagoguery to go around.

    Let me ask you something......are you up-to-date on how the democrats in Congress ("let's bring honor back to the hill'!) manipulated the vote count on a bill concerning benefits to illegal immigrants? After realizing they had lost the vote, Rep. Michael McNulty of New York (no surprise there) quickly gaveled the vote to a close, in the process citing incorrect numbers..... and THEN allowed some Dems to change their votes! What happened to the honest government that was promised with the election of these democrats? With such shenanigans, tell me exactly WHAT makes them any different from the republicans you so eagerly pillory?  Why can you not see that the democrats, far from being true to the ideals of our country, are being true only to their re-election campaigns and their own self-interests? They are NO BETTER than the republicans you are slamming.

    http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070803/ap_on_go_co/congress_notebook_2

    (BTW...Watch and see.....Pelosi will go down as one of the WORST speakers ever.)

    And by the way..... did you notice that two of the war's worst critics have reported that things over there are (GASP!) IMPROVING???? These are two Brookings Institute scholars, working for the New York Times, who have soundly criticized the administration in the past.

    http://www.usnews.com/blogs/barone/2007/7/31/is-the-surge-working.html

    You see, Greg..... one thing that really defines you as far left (apparently) is your failure to credit anything positive to the republicans- or conservatives- especially if it may damage or diminish your opinions.

    I have no problem criticizing the powers-that-be, as you well know. For that, you labeled me a 'fence-sitter'. Are you fearful of being called that, if you toned down your anti-republican rhetoric? There is nothing wrong with being genuinely bi-partisan, or having an open mind. it's just that, when it comes to republicans, you do not exhibit one.

    And that, my friend, is actually a great loss to us all.

  • First off, I hate bi-partisanship! It just means that there is much worse than the usual skullduggery going on. I like the Italian model, wherein there are numerous parties that form loose coalitions, that break up and re-form as needed.

    You know that I have pilloried the dems as spineless, you took me to task for it, because they did something YOU liked. I am not a democrat by choice, but by default. Had Bush not been president, we would not be in a stupid war, spending our kids' legacy, while Osama's laughs echo in the mountains of Waziristan.

    As for the improvements in Iraq, we are now arming sunni warlords who are against Al-qaeda, which is good, but the same chieftains are fighting the government WE put in place. In other words, as soon as the Al-Qaeda threat is gone (as if), they will return to fighting the central government, and us. Remember, we armed what became the Taliban and Al-qaeda in the 1st place. The southern part of Iraq is quiet, because Shia militants are in charge. Shari'a, holy law is the norm there. You know, where women are killed after being raped, to save the family's honor. And maybe you should read what the two critics said(They spent 8 days in Iraq btw, and got to see what the army let them see), and not what Barone says they said. He has been a bush apologist since day one, and has been wrong on most counts.

    Too bad about the vote thing; i don't know much about that, but it sounds as if the thugs are getting a taste of their own medicine.  I noticed that an apology was extended, something republicans see as a weakness.I too am disappointed in the dems, but for different reasons than you. Bush deserves impeachment, he has abrogated treaties, and bankrupted this country.  Billions of dollars are missing in Iraq. Truman made his name going after war profiteers during WW2. The republicans have done very, very little to stop it this time around.

    An open mind is an empty mind, and sometimes the "other hand " is in your back pocket, lifting your wallet. I like Vitter, the guy that Flynt outed. he has worked long and hard(no pun intended)  to help Louisianans get back on their feet since Katrina. Bobby Jindal, the next governor of Louisiana, most likely, is a good guy, and a republican. OUR governor is a good governor so far, as is the governor of Alabama, who tried to make the tax code fairer, but was shot down by greedheads in his own party. Jack Kemp I would vote for president, if his own party hadn't turned their backs to him. He could make privatization work if any body could.  I disagree with McCain on almost every issue, but despite sinking in the polls, he has not wavered from supporting the war.  I give him props for not caving to gain votes. the same  with Hilary.

    But, friend, my main intent was to post something funny. Did you think any of it was? Did you think  that the right-wing e-mail was funny? or did you think neither was any good? I laugh at my post every time I read it. Why don't you lighten up?

  • And refresh my memory, Dido, when did  I accuse you being a fence-sitter? I  cannot recall ever using the term in my life..

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