March 5, 2009

• Sorrowful Letter To Rush Limbaugh

  Mr. Limbaugh,

  First of all, I would have you know that I am not jumping on the apology bandwagon here; my heartfelt and abject sorrow and ruefulness over my harsh words, spoken in anger without thinking, is just as sincere as Chairman Steele's and Rep Gingrey's. Indeed, Rush, (if, after my deeply regretted transgressions, I may be deemed worthy to address you in such a familiar manner), I am, if anything, even more sorry than the aforementioned apologists, whose sincerity I would not presume to doubt. Indeed, it was their courage in crawling forward and giving you abject testaments to their regret for possibly offending you that empowered me to do the same. So here goes...

  The first apology I offer is for my laughter when I saw the title of Al Franken's book, "Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot". True or not, it is a tasteless title, and my laughter was inappropriate and hurtful. Besides, it is my considered opinion that the idiocy begins on the speaker end of your broadcast. Sorry, dittoheads, that was mean and uncalled for, and I apologize. And obesity, porcine, can't-even-see-the-shoes-you're-wearing corpulence, is to be pitied, not made fun of.  

  Then I heard how you implied that Chelsea Clinton was unattractive. Indeed, that you made a joke wherein she was called the "New White House Dog". This was in 1992, or late '93. Chelsea was 13, I believe, a fragile time in a young girl's life. To hear herself called ugly on national TV had to be devastating. But on reflection, and knowing your dedication to speaking the truth to the powerless and innocent ("The poor feed off of the largesse of this government and they give nothing back. Nothing."), I wince at the hurt you must have felt during that broadcast, and hereby apologize for possibly adding to your pain.

  May I also petition for your forgiveness in my noting your resemblance to Benito Mussolini, the fascist dictator of Italy in the 1930's and '40's. Any resemblance, and I regret implying Any resemblance to the fascist Mussolini, is more in style and manner than actual thought and deed.

   

  Then I made fun of your drug habit, cruelly pointing out your harsh and typically uncompromising attitude toward drug users ("And so if people are violating the law by doing drugs, they ought to be accused and they ought to be convicted and they ought to be sent up."). This was completely unfair on my part, to assume that you did not apply the same standard to your own situation. For all I know, you begged the prosecutor to charge you. But he, knowing the good work you do bashing liberals, ecologists, scientists, and the like, gave you a break that you yourself felt you neither deserved nor asked for, fearing that unthinking minds like mine would harp on the hypocrisy of a rich white guy getting a slap on the wrist for a crime that would put a young black man in jail for years. To further add to my shame, you later got busted at an airport with a bottle of Viagra, the prescription for which was in another man's name. You were traveling alone, to the Dominican Republic, a country known for having a thriving underage sex trade. But your doctor came forward, and stated that he prescribed the Viagra™ for you, and put it in another patient's name so as to avoid you any embarrassment. Besides, maybe you meant to grab your bottle of Valtrex™ *, and made an honest mistake.  I was totally wrong to assume anything else; forgive me?

  Now I have made the worst error of all, implying that you are un-American for wishing that Obama's Stimulus Plan will fail. I should instead be praising your steadfast adherence to your ideology. No matter how many Americans will suffer even more than they are now, your side will get a boost if Obama's plan does indeed fail. Your devotion to your right-wing corporatist philosophy, even at the expense of desperate Americans, is to be admired, not denigrated as I have done. Dear God, Rush, what was I thinking? Sorry man, really really, sorry.

                                                                               Still Buds,
                                                                                  Mel Famy 

   

   

  * A drug used to treat sexually transmitted diseases. But I make no judgment.

  • 7:38 am
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