August 4, 2011
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Ruminantings
You know those idiots from the Westboro Baptist Church, who announce in advance their intention to disrupt a military funeral, all in the name of Heaven-sanctioned homophobia? I think we should form a charity that hires clowns and jugglers to perform at the same funerals, that should make the mourning families feel better.
The legendary tenderness of Japan's Kobe Beef is achieved through a carefully monitored diet, and long daily massages of the steer's flesh. If there is such a thing as Kobe Tongue, I have a nomination for the worst job in Japan.
Do orchestras keep an anvilist on the payroll, in case someone requests 'The Anvil Chorus'? Is there a second-chair anvilist? What happens if someone who's bipolar plays Bach's 'The Well-Tempered Clavier'? If a meth-head plays 'The Minute Waltz'?
I was arrested for lighting up a joint of fake marijuana at a re-enactment of the Battle of Gettysburg. I got out of it though, all the charges were bogus.
Comments (8)
All very funny, but I think that last one was made up.
There is an interesting movie coming out that Fred Phelps inspired. It's called Red State.
I'm wondering how tough that job would be if they always feed the cows beer.
An interesting fact about kobe beef... a friend of mine flies for Federal Express.. he says they routinely fly cows from Australia where the cattle are raised, to Japan, let em lay over a week in Kobe prefecture, and then ship em out.
Those Westboro Baptist are clowns, they just need the hair, makeup, and big shoes. I wonder how many could pack themselves in a VW bug?
No, Mel, orchestras do not hire an anvilist to play in the Anvil Chorus. It is merely another percussion instrument, and is played by the regular percussionists on the orchestra’s payroll. In a piece my husband wrote called War Machine Blues, he instructs that a heavy chain be dragged rhythmically over a piece of sheet metal to mimic the sound of tanks rolling into town. No tank drivers were contracted for the proceedings.
@elgan - Word has reached the Brotherhood of Rhythmic Chain-Draggers #204. You may have to hire scab percussionists for the next performance of War Machine Blues (which, by the way, sounds intriguing. Is there a performance online?)
@MelFamy - Unfortunately, not. It was, however, recorded by the CBC for broadcast and you might be able to find the emission in question among their archives. It was premiered on November 11, Remembrance Day here in Canada, and there was a veteran having a glass of wine during intermission. He said to my husband, “Your piece was loud. But the war was louder.” It was a poignant moment.
Actually there have been wonderful counterprotests of Westboro with signs reading "I have a sign!" "Figs doom nation" "God hates signs" "God hates Germany" "God hates figs" "Dumbledore in hell" "Mourn for our signs" "What's your sign?" "God hates juice"
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